XLIV-blogging

1st Quarter

3:31 p.m.: I just realized. Rooting for the Saints to succeed means rooting for Jeremy Shockey to succeed. What to do?

3:35 p.m.: Does anyone look threatening with the arms-crossed pose?

3:37 p.m.: Pierre Garçon, one of my favorite football names.

3:38 p.m.: Dear #74. You are not Peyton Manning. Please stop looking up and around like you are calling audibles.

3:40 p.m.: Charlie Casserly called it in the pre-game show. He said Green’s officiating crew most often called holding and false start this season. It’s sad that someone tracks this.

3:41 p.m.: It’s kind of fitting that the oldest player to play in a Super Bowl, Colts kicker Matt Stover, plays in one in Miami.

3:42 p.m.: Betty White got JACKED UP! Wait… Abe Vigoda got JACKED UP!

3:43 p.m.: What if Tebow’s dad would’ve just JACKED OFF! That Tim Tebow/Focus on the Family commercial, while a little cheesy, wasn’t quite as offensive as I feared.

3:45 p.m.: Wow, that Boost Mobile shuffle commercial sucked.

3:49 p.m.: It’s nice of Colston to let Roy Williams take his place in the Super Bowl.

3:51 p.m.: THIS. IS. THE SHIRE!

3:52 p.m.: Early commercial winner – Bud Light. Early loser – Doritos.

4 p.m.: You get the feeling Manning has done this before. Manning to Garçon, 10-0 Colts.

4:02 p.m.: Cutest commercial of the quarter goes to Coke/The Simpsons.

4:03 p.m.: So, if I understand correctly, if I register a Web site with GoDaddy.com, hot women will want to have sex with me? At least GD is honest about its advertising hook.

2nd Quarter

4:09 p.m.: RT @sportspickle See, GoDaddy.com … Monster at least knows how to give us a beaver shot.

4:13 p.m.: Damn good second and third effort from Pierre Thomas.

4:17 p.m.: I can’t think of a punchline, but Dwight Freeney is a beast.

4:19 p.m.: “I’m Mark Sanchez…” and wait… that wasn’t a Proctiv commercial?

4:20 p.m.: I approve of any Sheldon Cooper sighting at the Super Bowl.

4:21 p.m.: Back-to-back pants-free commercials, and the NFL is worried about wardrobe malfunctions at halftime?

4:24 p.m.: A cultural note for you all, in France, calling a waiter “garçon” is considered offensive.

4:29 p.m.: Marques Colston sounds more like a jazz artist than a football player, no?

4:31 p.m.: No one has caught a ball while being that wide open since Larry Brown in SB XXX. Neil O’Donnell just winced.

4:33 p.m.: I can hear someone in another house screaming. WHO DAT? No, really, who are you? I want to go to your party.

4:37 p.m.: Teleflora commercial: “There are lots of nice guys in prison.”

4:39 p.m.: Damn, that 3-yard line can pack a punch. Cleats on the ground. Cleats on the ground. Lookin’ like a fool with your cleats on the ground. I couldn’t help it.

4:40 p.m.: MIDGET POLUMALU. HELL YES!

4:41 p.m.: Did the Saints really just call the same goddamn play twice?

4:45 p.m.: We have an injury report on Jason. His girlfriend has removed his spine. Wow! Great commercial. (FloTV)

4:50 p.m.: I hate these little interviews before halftime. Hate them. Has anyone ever said anything substantial? I remember a couple years ago, an ABC “sideline” person asked then-Michigan coach Lloyd Carr “Do you know the status of Chad Henne’s injury?” He said, “Yes,” and walked away. I wanted to stand up and clap.

4:51 p.m.: sportspickle Somewhere (probably a Philadelphia buffet restaurant) Andy Reid is yelling: TAKE YOUR TIME!

Halftime

5:02 p.m.: I know, because I’m 23, I’m not supposed to like the halftime show, but I’m digging it. Crazy laser shows usually help.

5:12 p.m.: I wish there was more shirt where there is no shirt.

3rd Quarter

5:20 p.m.: I’m loving the “Run This Town” cross with orchestra.

5:22 p.m.: You know what it takes to coach in the NFL? Brass balls.

5:27 p.m.: OK, I’m calling it. If the Saints hold on to win, Sean Payton should win Super Bowl MVP. Seriously. If they kick off to the Colts to start the 2nd half, there’s a damn good chance Manning goes on another mechanical touchdown drive. So instead of being down by two scores, they have a lead.

5:29 p.m.: Megan Fox was naked in a bathtub for… uh.. what company’s commercial?

5:35 p.m.: See what I mean? A robotic Peyton Manning is leading a clock-eating drive deep into Saints territory. Without that onside kick, this game has the makings of a rout.

5:39 p.m.: Is it bad that I think Beverly D’Angelo is still kinda hot? (HomeAway.com)

5:48 p.m.: Another long field goal by Hartley and the Saints are still in it, 17-16.

5:52 p.m.: Jeremy Shockey – Ouchtown, population: You, bro.

5:54 p.m.: Google’s ad was simple, understated, yet powerful. Great job.

4th Quarter

6 p.m.: Sun Life Stadium? Huh? Does this place change its name every month? I could’ve sworn it was Land Shark Stadium during baseball season.

6:02 p.m: Robo-Caldwell does have a heart. And balls. Wow… what a call and a great conversion by Manning.

6:12 p.m.: Pierre Thomas is the Saints HB running like he’s got Kim Kardashian waiting for him.

6:13 p.m.: I’m so happy you scored, Jeremy Shockey, but you’re still a douche.

6:24 p.m.: I have a feeling that this WILL be the first Super Bowl to go to overtime.

6:27 p.m.: Good for Charles Barkley, only endorsing products he believes in. (Taco Bell)

6:29 p.m.: Wow. Peyton Manning is human.

6:30 p.m.: Doritos, seriously, step your game up.

6:32 p.m.: “Do you like Little Women?” … “You know, I’m not too picky.” HAH! (Bud Light)

6:39 p.m.: I can almost hear Chris Berman’s annoying voice… “Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick…”

6:43 p.m.: And that’ll do it. Pretty sure Drew Brees will be the MVP.

6:47 p.m.: Best commercial: Google; Funniest commercial: Bud Light; Dumbest commercial: Doritos

Good night!

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