Best of the blotter

“Best of the blotter” was a blog run by former Our Town editor Aaron Rognstad. Every day, we get the blotter, a record of all calls taken by the Tracy police department. We translate these from cop-speak (i.e. HFA not ONS, ENR to STCH) into regular English.

Most recently, these blotters were fairly important in the Sandra Cantu case. Checking it led to the discovery of Frank Wohler, the martial arts instructor who had kissed the 8-year-old girl and the fact that Melissa Huckaby drugged another girl earlier this year.

But sometimes, there’s a lighter side to the police record. Best of the blotter captured those moments and offered some occasionally humorus commentary.

Before yesterday, I hadn’t done the blotter in quite some time. There were quite a few funny entries in Monday’s blotter report, which represented Friday through Sunday.

Sunday:

5:26 a.m.: A man on the 70 block of Shakespeare Court, who told police at 3:45 a.m. that someone had hit him in the head with an unknown object while he was walking in Hoyt Park, said he actually had hit himself with a blow dryer during an argument.

Uh, wow. 1 – what man needs a blow dryer early Sunday morning and 2 – why would you report that to the police? Sounds like something I’d just keep to myself.

2:33 p.m.: A customer at Popeye’s Chicken, 2271 W. Grant Line Road, tried to hit an employee behind the counter. The customer left in a green Land Rover.

When he found that he could not order a LITERACOLA, he tried to punchisize the employee’s face… for free.

10:55 p.m.: There was a dispute between an “extremely” drunk woman wearing one shoe and a man in front of Denny’s restaurant, 3718 N. Tracy Blvd. Police logs show the guy had marks on him, possibly from the woman. No police report was taken.

Possibly from the woman? You’ve got to wonder where she put that other shoe.

Saturday:

8:56 a.m.: A caller on the 2200 block of Krohn Road reported that a man and a woman were having sex in a red Acura. Police were unable to find the car, which was last seen on Corral Hollow Drive.

Aw, really? You had to call the cops for this? Just let them have their fun.

10:59 a.m.: A “bloody item” was reported hanging out of a mailbox on the 1300 block of Bluegrass Lane.

Curt Schilling was unavailable for comment.

12:35 p.m.: A caller on the 600 block of Menay Drive reported a stolen credit card from two days previously. The caller said a bunch of charges showed up Friday, including $100 for a Domino’s Pizza delivery.

That’s a lot of pizza. Wow.

4:53 p.m.: At the Orchard Estates Mobile Home Park, a caller said someone was walking around with a Comcast hat and a briefcase, trying to give people “better deals” than what they have now. Police couldn’t find the salesman.

9:55 p.m.: Graffiti was reported on the 4700 block of Lammers Road. A caller caught two kids spray painting street signs and fences. The caller said he let the kids go because they were crying, but he took their paint.

Friday:

1:38 a.m.: Two people were shooting vehicles with paintballs near 11th Street and Crossroads Drive.

8:06 p.m.: A man on the 1000 block of Plymouth Drive told police his house was hit with paintballs two nights before.

These vandals get around.

2:05 p.m.: At Motel 6, 3810 N. Tracy Blvd, a fight was reported between a man and a woman who “used to be male.” The housekeeper said they were throwing things out of the room, according to the police log. The two were gone when motel staff arrived.

What happens at Motel 6… usually ends up in the blotter.

6:12 p.m.: On the 2000 block of Valcourt Way, a woman said her husband’s friend gave her husband a brownie, who was “acting really strange” after eating it. She said her husband was also drunk. The husband later admitted he ate a marijuana brownie.

Littering and… littering and… litering and… littering and… littering and… (yes, I know, two Super Troopers references in one entry.)

That’s all for now. Go see The Hangover sometime soon. You won’t regret it. Zach Galifianakis is a comedic genius and really kicks the movie up a notch or two.

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